Bark you shout, as you bite the neck of another robot cat. Excellent exclaims the Doctor, turning on the lights, and stopping the simulation. The rest of the robot cats lurch to a halt, and their eyes go dark. Exhausted from racing around the maze, you drop the cat, and stand there panting. The...

   Despite the best attempts of trees, bees, crystal balls, and whatever gem eaters are, you manage to collect a truly huge number of jewels. Berthilda has taken a break from tormenting you, and is dozing in the corner. You approach her, and cough (partly to wake her, but partly because something is...

   You bounce up, and up, and you see the hole Last time, it seemed so small, but now that you are a frog, it’s like a big open doorway, and you fly right into it, only to land on a pile of black fabric. Looking around the dark interior, you see the walls are made of some kind of dimly glowing crystal...

   The last little frog hops into the last little bay. Wow, says Cassie, you really are good at that Even these little rich frogs listen to you You start thinking about the nature of amphibian economies, but then remember you have bigger problems to solve. Cassie, can we go see the wise old frog now?...

   Soon, it gets so dark that you can only see fireflies, and you aren’t sure you want to eat those. You win calls Cassie out of the darkness. You must have been really hungry As your eyes adjust to the dark, you see Cassie resting on the lilypad next to you. She yawns. Thanks again for your help...

   Left Left Now wait... and forward the last little frog hops into the last empty home bay. That was amazing shouts Cassie, and leaps for joy. I’m so glad you were here to help The elders will be glad to know that so many frogs got to their home bays safely. You don’t say anything, because your frog...

   You are hanging, hundreds of feet in the air, from a green pole attached to the doctor’s orange helicopter, and you have been dealing with snakes, balloons, bats, flying faces, and even bats disguised as flying faces, all while shinnying up and down every pole in the entire pole district, and you...

   By now, you have climbed four buildings, dealing with egg-laying birds, falling girders (where were they falling from??), a sign with a short circuit, and of course the relentless pelting of the Mad Doctor. You are exhausted, hanging by your flipper from his helicopter, when Melvin flies up to you....

   After a terrible game of race and chase through the dark of the Graves mansion with bats, spiders, and the most evil ghost you’ve ever seen (and you’ve seen a lot of ghosts in the last 24 hours), you stumble out the door carrying the urn like a football into the night. Noo nee noo noo, noo nee noo...

   You are speeding to yet another ghost sighting. Charlie, we’ve been catching ghosts all day, and I’m not sure it’s helping. I mean, just look at the PK meter. The meter has been accelerating all day and is dangerously close to 9999, its maximum. Charlie looks up at the truly massive gathering of...

   You wake from a terrible nightmare where you killed thirteen people with a chainsaw, only to run out of gas and have one of the survivors attack you and kick you over and over. Your eyes snap open as you feel a cold presence leave your body, and you see a green ghost rocket into the sky. Dazed, you...

   Dracula is terrifying, but seeing the crosses startles him, and as he backs away in fear, you cleverly guide him into one of his own ghost prisons, slam the door, and throw the electric switch. We did it shouts Melvin. Take that, Dracula he shouts at the ghost prison, doing his pixel victory dance....

   The pinball game is intense, and not just because the flipper buttons keep shocking your fingers You realize that you are racing against time, because if Doctor Frankenstein catches you in here, who knows what he and his monster will do to you. At 10,000 points and 20,000 points, silver crosses...

   Soaking wet, freezing, covered in spider bites, bat bites, ghost bites (?), and acid burns, you dive through yet another swarm of bats and put the sixth iron rock on top of the stack outside the lab. It turns brown like the others, and electricity starts to pulse through your stack of iron-bearing...

   You’ve destroyed wave after wave of Morpuls, which seem to keep getting faster and more dangerous. You and the Spectra Warrior have been firing the Spectron back and forth between your ships so much it has overheated dozens of times. But you blast one last group of Mastrods, just as your sensors...

   Suddenly, you wake up, in a cold sweat, lying on the floor in a dark house. Peek is standing over you. You start and scramble back in the corner, like a frightened animal. Melvin is similarly freaked out, and is somehow dripping cold, sweaty pixels on the floor. Peek looks at you in amazement. You...

   You’ve been running all around this crazy house, and every time you find Peek, the toy piano plays The Bear Went over the Mountain, he vanishes, and you have to find him again. But the third time, you hold him tightly by the shoulders. Peek, you say, out of breath, why do you keep hiding? He looks...

   Finally, you and Melvin manage to win two consecutive games. Suddenly the cards all disappear, and projections of four creepy houses appear in their place. The Queen speaks as if in a trance. Tonight you will visit four haunted houses, each more terrifying than the last. One of them contains...

   You have destroyed several snakes with the laser cannon, and each new one seems to get faster and faster But this is the last one, you are certain of it, because you can see the glittering Sport Combat Ring around the tip of its tail You dodge more deadly venom, launch Melvin up for a final blast,...

   It was incredibly difficult, and took more than a few hits of your reset button, but with tremendous effort, patience, and luck you manage to defeat Mister Mean Fireworks explode on the video screens, accompanied by real fireworks launching from all four posts of the ring The referee leans down...

   And again the fans are cheering You are exhausted, bruised, and bleary from the fight, but you are looking better than Iron Fists, who is unconscious on the mat. The ref holds up your gloved hand. Well, technically, your whole arm is gloved, since you are wearing a rubber suit. He calls into the...

   The crowd counts down 3... 2... 1... and a completely naked referee suddenly appears out of nowhere and declares you the winner. Spectronium starts flashing like a hyperactive rainbow all around you, and you see your green opponent hang their head and trudge out of the ring. Blessedly, the floor of...

   Ding ding The bell rings for the end of the match, and the crowd goes wild - you won The referee holds up your rubbery spherical hand, and the crowd chants Play-er, Play-er, Play-er, Play-er Melvin whips in circles around your head. YAHOO You stagger out of the ring, and back to the dressing room....

   Whew you cry, your overtaxed brain spinning with numbers and patterns. The hovering hologram cross winks back into the eyes of the Queen, who blinks and takes a breath. Thank you, she says quietly. The Starstone will give me access to a great deal of memory, I can tell. But even this short...

   After what feels like an eternity of wandering a space labyrinth, constantly beset by deadly enemies, you finally set your warp sights on your goal: the planet Solaris. Why does it blink like that? asks Melvin. It has to do with ions in their atmosphere. It’s kind of like your Aurora Borealis on...